Staff:
Each day, you’ll receive feedback on your individual contributions to The Shorthorn’s news report, as well as feedback on the issue as a whole. This information is posted in the newsroom on the bulletin board, along with a summary highlighting the best work – and that which needs improvement. You should read the entire critique – not just your work – and use the information to improve a little each day.
Beth Francesco
Director of Student Publications
The Shorthorn e-newsletter, Jan. 17, 2018
The best thing in the newsletter: Kyle did a great job incorporating a specific anecdote to paint a picture of some of the issues Arlington residents have with short-term rental properties in their neighborhoods:
Arlington resident Robert Phillips, 53, gave an anecdotal example from his University Drive neighborhood where a residence had 30 people in a three-bedroom home and was being advertised as a party house.
“It doesn’t happen every week, but it is annoying,” Phillips said. “The noise is a problem; the trash is a problem.”
The anecdote continues, thoroughly letting the reader experience what he has. Instead of quoting the entire passage, Kyle used the anecdote to set up a good quote. Nicely done!
Best story: Today’s best story was on the weather. Kim’Breanna did a great job getting straight to the point in her brief’s lede:
Temperatures are expected to decrease to the lower teens tonight in the Metroplex.
What’s the news? How am I impacted? This lede gives me exactly the information the reader needs, no extra info to weigh it down or get in the way. It’s followed by why, some relevant quotes from an expert, then ends without fanfare. It’s how a straight news story should go, and it’s a great start for Kim’Breanna.
The lesson: Get to the point, include relevant information and sources, and get out. More to come on that.
Best headline: Arlington residents focus on short-term rentals in town hall meeting
Caitlin’s headline succeeds in narrowing in on the focus of the town hall meeting, not that the meeting itself took place. It contains a strong verb (focus) and a key searchable term (short-term rentals). Nice job.
Best visual: Juan’s “Trump spectrum” illustration, which served two columns, stole the show among photos and graphics in today’s newsletter. Here’s why: It clearly conveyed the point of the story, was legible at the size published, accurately represented the story (a biggie), and the reader could understand its focus without any explanation. Great work.
Of note: Don’t get discouraged if your work isn’t listed among the best today. You have a chance every day to do your best work. Do that, apply tips and lessons mentioned here and in the newsroom, and it will rise.
Things to improve:
- Overall, stories lacked a strong focus. Stories need a clear focus and lead. Nearly every story had a summary lead with calendar information in it, which backs into the story and delays the reader in getting real, timely news. For example, meeting stories said, “There was a meeting,” instead of focusing on what was said or actually happened at the meeting. Please see the specifics on each story. The reporters are getting great info, but it gets buried under unnecessary summary.
- Ask yourself: If I were going to tell my Mama or my best friend about what I covered today, what is the first thing I’d say to that person? That’s probably your lede. For example, if I were telling someone about the short-term rental story, I would probably start with, “Some residents are super upset about having short-term neighbors, who they say bring noise, parties and too much traffic,” not that there was a meeting about it. That is important, but not the news.
- Avoid redundancy (repeating words or phrases within story packages; repeating images that are similar).
- Headlines, blurbs and link text used the same wording in packages throughout the newsletter. Here’s an example:
Headline: Opinion: Trump revitalized the voice of the heartland
Blurb: Trump’s victory in the election has unshackled free speech and morale has increased in America.
Link text: Read what this CommUNITY Voices columnist has to say about Trump.
We get it. This is about Trump. Instead:
Headline: Opinion: Trump revitalized the voice of the heartland
Blurb: To date, the president has unshackled free speech and morale has increased in America.
Link text: Read what this CommUNITY Voices columnist has to say.
- Within stories, avoid redundancy by eliminating the transition-quote-transition-quote structure. Here’s an example:
The most dangerous thing about the flu is that it leaves your body susceptible to other infections, said Dr. Angela Middleton, director of UTA Health Services.
“Because your body spends all this energy fighting off the flu virus, you’re sort of vulnerable to other infections,” she said. “And this is why people die.”
- Headlines need to change based on the audience.
- theshorthorn.com is for the whole world. Using UTA is appropriate in headlines.
- The newsletter goes to UTA students and subscribers. They know it’s about UTA. No need for UTA in newsletter headlines.
- Assume nothing. Your reader does not have the same information as you do as a journalist. Today’s stories omitted critical information: explanation of references, info about political opponents, basics about what the actual issues related to short-term rentals. Try not to give readers a reason to stop reading – they are looking for reasons to quit reading, and not understanding something (like, what’s Student Senate?) makes them feel dumb. Don’t assume readers know what you are talking about or have been following along. It’s better to give too much information than not enough.
- Always list opponents from all parties when writing about someone running for office. Always indicate whether it’s a primary race and whether the person is an incumbent.
- Always state next steps: When is the next meeting? What’s the next thing that is going to happen in a situation?
- Don’t allude to something that is not true. For example, the graphic and story for the president/celebrity story indicates Winfrey has declared her candidacy simply by being included (she’s the only “rumored” person listed and shown in the illustration). Be mindful that perception becomes reality quickly – even when that perception is wrong. (I’d have taken her out of the illustration and clarified in the story that the rumors are the time peg but that she hasn’t spoken about it.)
- Photo cutlines are off to a good start! They state what is happening in the image and how it relates to the story. Where we need improvement is in the photos themselves. Based on what published in the newsletter:
- Avoid butts and backs of heads as the focal point of images. (See the town hall image). Work the room to get different angles of the action.
- Show the person featured in the story. (See the Student Senate image, which features a person from senate … but not the person the story focuses on. Ouch.)
- Show some color! Photos in today’s newsletter didn’t have much action or color on a day full of first-day stuff: bookstore activity, the longest-ever line at Starbucks because of the cold, students bundled up in everything from blankets to parkas and furry caps, and more.
- Where are the students in this student newspaper? The only story with student voices was the Student Senate coverage. That’s … not good. If students don’t see themselves in The Shorthorn, why should they read it? To ensure we’re each doing our part, ask yourself the following of all your work:
- Does my lede or the second paragraph address why students should care about this story?
- Does my image or series of images include a student doing something?
- Does my headline, blurb or other text state clearly why a student should care about this story/photo/design package?
If the answer to any of these is not an enthusiastic, “yes!” take the time
to address that issue.
For all: We’re off to a running start. Focus on what is going well and what we can improve. We’re in this together, and you each have an important part. Don’t forget to share your work on social media, and definitely don’t forget to share your colleagues’ work!
Keep it up, Shorties!
No Bull 