6/15 Print critique from John Dycus

Teasers:

Washington, D.C. It’s like Fort Worth, Texas. Remember where to use your commas.

CAP:

Don’t repeat acronyms in the headline and the sumdeck. CAP.

Don’t use on May 11// but if you say Kristin Sullivan on May 11 is okay.
Don’t use stating, always use saying or said.

Good tight lede, strong second graf.

When someone has an email interview, you can write that just once.

Previously accepted – would not be hyphenated because it’s a modifying adverb, not a compound adjective.

Good work on not over attributing things.

 

Pipeline robot:

Check the sizing of the sum deck in comparison to the CAP story.

Great headline with the verb!

Only say city of Arlington once.

Try to avoid cliché saying, unless it’s clever. Make it your own saying.

Don’t over repeat RedZone. Do they have an ad with us or what?

Do not over use the word “that.”

Careful when paraphrasing quotes.

Going forward, moves forward.

If something is unique, you need to prove it. Take out the unnecessary stuff.

Try not to use more than one word for a verb.

 

Orlando:

Special quotes can be an exception, but it needs to connect better with the story.

You could use quoted instead of echoed.

Occurred was misspelled.

It’s quotes but no story. Get a lot of reaction, but we need to orient the readers to what was going on when we got the quotes. Describe the scene. What we have is predominantly reaction and what we need is more context.

“of” is not our friend. If you see this preposition, you can probably take it out.

When there’s different quotes from different times, make sure to describe when you got them. Example, quote from the vigil, quote from an interview, things like that.

This story needed a little more structure work.

 

Archer fellowship:

Could’ve started with a smaller feature, anecdotal lede.

When using “they” make sure to back up in the story to the first plural noun to make sure it’s accurate.

 

Opinion:

By the second graf, you need to tell them what you want them to do. You did this. GOOD.

Sometimes capital conjunctions are okay.

 

Don’t hyphenate –ly words!!!!! Family-owned is the ONLY exception.

 

Bottom line, this is good work. Punctuation and structure is good. Good quotes. The biggest area for improvement are the big picture stories where you pull in quotes from other environments. Little copy editing things to remember, but you’ll get them with more practice.

 

It’s a great beginning to the summer. I sense a lot of professionalism in the way it’s being run and I see people who like each other and work together.

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